F My Health

My health is so fucked its unbelievable. That’s the first time I’ve used the F-bomb on my blog so I hope you’ll understand that I really mean it when I say it. I could chalk up my health problems to the poor diet of TV dinners and soda when I was a child or the endless nights of Top Ramen and pizza when in college, but its not that. It dates back to the day I was born when I was forced to stay in a plastic bubble for a week because of a major heart issue. Until this day that heart issue has plagued me along with everything else. I’m guessing the tropics aren’t helping any of the crazy ailments I currently have and I can almost tell you for certain that the crazy amounts of worms, parasites, amoebas, and giardia haven’t helped my case. And now this. Stuck in a hospital for 5 days while doctors probe and prod me in every hole available just to tell me I now have a chronic prostate problem that might go away in a couple months. In the meantime I have about the energy of a dying rat and my entire pelvic region is on fire. Health rant done.

The Grinder we need

I’ve got less than a month left in my site now if I ever make it back from the hospital and its starting to get surreal. I can’t believe that its almost over. The thought of breathing cool california air and eating meals that don’t involve rice and MSG sounds amazing. The thought of seeing my family and loved ones keeps me going and keeps me pushing to do the best I can here before my time is up. I know that I can leave my community with my head high and just that facts that my community is throwing me a huge going away party and the Ambassador to Panama from the US is coming to visit me next week show me that I’ve done well. In fact, I can honestly say that I’m more proud of what I’ve done here than in anything else I’ve done in the past. Graduating college was a biggie for me considering it took 8 years but nothing compared to this. I know that I’ve changed a lot of lives, saved lives, and given people hope for a better future in my community and being able to see the change while I’ve been there has been one of the most rewarding things ever. 

The grinder that we were supposed to get for the artisan group from mexico didn’t make it and now we are scrambling to find a replacement. I’ve contracted a manufacturer in David to do it and plan on visiting him tomorrow. That is if I can get enough coffee in my system to get enough energy to do it.  

There are many more things I’de like to write here and so much stuff has happened since last time I wrote but the words escape me now. Maybe its tiredness kicking in or maybe its just because I don’t feel like I need to explain everything anymore. Its been a bumpy ride and I know it will take me being in the states for awhile for me to recover but I think it will happen and when that time comes I will be able to fully look back on my service and what I’ve done in it and explain it to others. Can’t wait to see all my friends, family, and loved ones. Its so close.