The Hammok

I've been trying to study Spanish for the last couple hours and have found it impossible. I just can't focus enough to actually sit in one spot and learn one thing. I need stimulation. I would like to additionally point out that many distractions are keeping me from my Spanish learning goal. I've tried climbing the hill or the “make out mound” as one of the volunteers like to call it although no one has made out there. That didn't work. Kids swarmed me and demanded things of me that I could not provide.

What kind of car I drove.

Don't have one.

Where I got my haircut and how much it cost.

My host mother for free.

If I had a girlfriend or kids.

None. Thank god or “gracias dio”

And if I had a coloring book.

No. I have no coloring book and I'm not really sure why you would think that because I'm an North American that I would have a coloring book.

And then they wanted me to gift them my Sierra Nevada pen.

Sure. Gift me your shoes. I think its a fair trade.

They didn't get the joke and at this time I tried explaining to them that we were volunteers which meant we don't make any money. I also tried telling them that in the states I worked with computers and one out of the five knew what that was. They might have seen one on TV somewhere. It was at this point a stray dog with a raging boner tried mounting my back and they thought that was hilarious. After they got bored of me not giving them things and dogs not humping me they commenced operation throw dirt at the gringo and my study time was officially over.

Moments later I've decided to make the hammock my new home. I've whipped out my flash cards and  and ready to start studying but dinner awaits me. No need to worry though, my host mom doesn't mind serving my customary ham and cheese sandwiches along with fresh fruit nectar while I'm hammocking it up. Nobody else uses the table to eat anyways and my days of being polite are long gone. I'm not going to worry about where I'm going to eat when there are piles of trash in the corner that smell of piss, ants crawling everywhere, and my little host brother eating while flat on his back on the couch. I don't even know how that is possible but he finds a way to pull it off every time. Side note: I asked him why instead of eating a real dinner, he chooses to opt for the ice cream and jello. He looked at me and walked away. I would have chased after him but I cramming ham and cheese sandwiches in mouth on the hammock and couldn't be bothered.

I was soon served my ice cream in sugar bowl cone with jello without having to leave the hammock again. I had eaten my nutritional cheese and bread dinner unlike Abel so I felt I deserved it. It was after my host mom came back to collect the empty dishes from me when I asked if I was being lazy. Yes. “Yes you are” she replied before I could finish asking her. Well at least we both know what I am.

OK. So maybe I'm being lazy in learning Spanish. I figure I've got to learn something through osmosis right? I actually think my Spanish has gotten worse since I've been here, but that might be because there is more to not understand. But how can one study when there are so many distractions. I'm back in the hammock, of course, and trying to study but the absurdly loud reggeaton coming from the house 100 feet away is starting to make my ears bleed. I can't imagine actually being in the house while the music is on. I have visions of a def guy sleeping and his dog accidentally setting the stereo to “Ear Bleed” or “ Soul Crushing Extreme Loudness from Hell” and he is sleeping like a baby though it.

And there is the TV which I can see through the window from my hammock. That's right. I don't even have to move to watch the TV. Pirates of the Caribbean is on in Spanish and I'm pretty sure they use the same voice for Johnny Depp as they do for Homer in Los Simpons. I've also considered the fact that there happens to be hole in the hammock that is very close to being the right size and placement for a makeshift toilet. All I need is a bucket and I'm too lazy to get that right now.

And then there is fact that I have a phone to call people which I just did, a guitar to play which my fam loves, and my computer to write a journal in. I should really get off this thing and start studying Spanish....