I came close to giving up today and I'm not sure why. This blog is subject to be read by the Peace Corps staff so saying this could be detrimental to my placement but screw it. I had a bad morning. It's actually not the Peace Corps' fault. I woke up to my host my screaming something in a different language to me (I'm guessing in Spanish) and all I could make out of it was that I had 15 minutes. I looked at my clock and could only express my feeling by yelling “shit” as loud as I could. I set my alarm wrong and had 5 minutes to get ready. Getting ready and stuffing my backpack with things I may or may not have needed was no problem. Trying to explain to my host mother that I could not eat breakfast was one though. She talked about it all day and finally made me drink the coffee she had made for me at about 7 at night.
I made it to class just in time dripping of sweat and my right foot burning with pain from a broken bone somewhere in the middle of it and a massive cut on the heal I received from swimming in the river a couple days ago. Training is brutal. Not because its hard. Almost the opposite. There is just a lot of information and I have a very very short attention span. Blame it on my personality type and the fact that I haven't been prescribed any Ridilin or Adarol in my lifetime when I almost certainly need both at the same time. Sitting in the heat wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants with an ailing foot and terrible allergies is bad enough. Add information sessions on the differences between teaching classes in the states compared to Panamanians and the thought of eating a bullet for lunch sounds good. Once again, its not their fault. We need to know this information and they have done their homework on how to present it to us. We did get to visit a school today and watch how the classrooms are facilitated. That part was interesting and definitely helped me understand what I'm going to be dealing with in the classroom.
Then there was the language interview I was supposed to have today. The one that determines how well our language acquisition is going. I wrote down the wrong time and when one of the staff reminded me that I was 2 hours late for my appointment I proceeded to walk 15 minutes to the wrong place. They decided to drive me to the place after I returned with a puzzled look on my face. So I had not eaten, was drenched in sweat and was now being recorded to determine if I had learned any new Spanish in a month. Lets just say that I think I might have dropped a level since my last language interview after today. I have been trying to study more, but my interview sure did not show off my best Spanish. I could barely speak English.
I keep telling myself that in less than 6 weeks I will be in my own community solving my own problems and doing my own work. My Spanish needs to get better though. Fast. And I'm pretty sure I'm on the shit list for my screw up with the language interview so hopefully they don't decide to give me the worst assignment ever. At this rate I'm going to be working in the mall as a greeter.
Other news:
I'm growing a mustache or what a 12 year old would call a mustache. I came up with a mustache challenge to see who can grow the shittiest one. I think I'm already winning.
I seem to be spending an awful amount of time thinking about how I'm going to build a hot water shower catchment system for my site. I think my friend Serena made one for herself in Hawaii
I also ran out of cash which means that I have to use the ATM for the first time. If for some reason my card doesn't work in the ATM then I could be screwed. I need to buy boots for our tech training in the indigenous community next week and will probably need to eat something on the trip too which could be a problem. Lets pray....
We all have one of those day's, the fact that you are in the middle of nowhere and are dealing with allergies etc does not help matters. I support everything you do my son, and this journey would certainly be something you could tell your kid's someday if you completed your mission. I can only say that sometimes one has to really focus within themselves and honestly pray to your higher power, whoever that may be, for guidance and the strength to continue. I have done it everyday for 5 years, and here I am, still standing. Christina and I went to a memorial service today for a friend of mine that died in a car crash at the age of 38 years. Noah was one of the most honest and kind men I have ever known, and was one of the best tree climbers in the State. During the service they talked about the fact that Noah started to climb trees at the age of 10 as all he wanted to do was to be in the forest and climb, and became one of the best climbers when he was a teenager. He then started his own tree business and climbed trees and cut them for a living. No wonder everytime I saw him he was so bloody happy, I paid him 400 bucks to trim the pine trees, for something he would do for free!!
ReplyDeleteOne thing they did not talk about in the service was that Noah was in a horrific motorcycle accident in the mountains when he was loaded and died twice on the table. Noah was in a coma and suffered brain loss, and permanantly damaged his spine and legs.
That did notstop Noah though, he crawled out of his hole, learned how to walk and talk again and continued to climb, and this time, he did it while sober. Noah was my hero because he beat the odd's and did what he loved.
The memorial service was packed with every tree company and friends you could imagine.
At the service the Mayor of Chico proclaimed that September 18th was to be declared as Noah Kwolek day, for his dedication and service in his effort to keep our trees healthy and his expertise in his field, as he was one of the top arborist's in the State. Who would of imagined, a day specifically dedicated to Noah.
There might be something in that message you could take and think about.
I love you son,take one day at a time.
Dad