I Think I Ate Some Bad Chicken

Its come to my attention that I have been slacking a little bit with the blog posting. It has also come to my attention that other volunteers are getting more hits on their blogs because of it and I just can't let that happen. I don't always write for the 4 people that actually read this. I sometimes write for myself too. To let off some steam or just to work out things on the screen instead of just in my head. That said, here is to a new month where I will write more than one post every 40 days. In fact, this is number two in 3 days. Now you people just need to start reading them.

In between having explosive diarrhea and trying not to puke my stomach out all day, I starting thinking about my future here in Rio Oeste and even more specificly in the Peace Corps. I'm pretty much at the half way mark and after the holiday season it will be pretty much down hill from there. I've been trying to think about what I want to accomplish and how to do it. It seems that my work here has taken a life of its own and the government wants a chunk of the recognition. They have offered a free booth at all the fairs in the Bocas region for us and even want to start giving the business money for things such as machinery. They have good intentions and the fair booth will be great even though it is for 5 days at a time and I'm pretty sure its going to be me and two Ngabes sleeping in a tent together for most of those days. The only problem I see is the fact that the government here likes to just hand money over sometimes without stipulations. I've said this before and I will say it again “handouts are the worst possible thing you can do to poor people”. There is one exception to that and that is medical. If you don't believe me then you need to read Two Ears Of Corn. So hopefully it doesn't go down that way and the agencies actually come into this trying to work with the people and not just throwing money at them.

So I mentioned that I had pretty bad stomach problems and I wasn't kidding. If you have kept up with my blog at all you will know that I just came back to my site after being away for over two weeks. I felt good and it was probably the longest time I have gone for months without being sick. I kid you not, the day I arrived in my site I got terrible stomach problems. I really don't know what the hell is going on. I ate at a couple bus stops that looked pretty questionable but everyone does that here including tourists and not too many get sick. I really don't know what is going on but it needs to stop if I want to continue serving in my site and not from Bocas Island.

Another thing I realized today and something that I've been delaying thinking about is being alone once again in Panama. As some of you know, my girlfriend will be done with her service at the end of this month. It creeped up on us like a stalker and now we are both dealing with the possibility of not seeing each other for a year. I don't want to get too in to it but we have decided to go our separate ways and then meet up when I get done. We both feel it would be too hard any other way. I'm not sure how it is going to be but I do know that I will miss her and that after spending most of my time in the Peace Corps with her as my girlfriend, it is going to be very very hard to not have that support and love anymore. I've started trying to fill my schedule with giving extra English classes and seeing my friends that are serving in other places to take my mind off of things but the fact is that it will be much harder for awhile.

I've got another year left and need to stay healthy mentally and physicaly to ride out the good and bad times. Another challenge I'm willing to take on....